"Facing Complications"

After knowing God better, my life became better as well. but even though i stopped going to church for 12 years since 1995, i still carried the Lord in my heart with me. i didn't know why my parents suddenly decided to stop going to church though.

i have another diary which i wrote in since i was 9 in 1999. and i could see how sometimes i mentioned God. thank God for giving me an opportunity to return to church last year. i took the chance when i met old church friends of mine. so i started going to church with them while they helped me to get familiar with the church.

what would my life become without God? one thing's for sure, i would have been much more vulgar, and i wouldn't hesitate to get into fights. back in sports school, i remember that these are ALL the things i would do sometimes when i come back to my hostel after school or training. I do them ALL when i come back to my room... I would:

- slam the door
- punch my cupboard with my fist
- kick my bed drawers
- slam my fist on my desk
- throw my water bottle against the wall
- and finally, kick the drawers of my desk.


Or, sometimes i would go into the bathroom and punch the door or wall of the shower. don't worry, there was no pain. i don't feel much pain when i'm angry... somehow. mom says i have an anger management problem like my dad. but because of my roommate's feedback to me, i tried to change. so i only do all these things when no one's looking. because i'm often surrounded by so many people now in RP, i seldom have any chance to vent my anger.

God knows us so well that He even knows how many strands of hair we have on our heads as mentioned by Jesus in Matthew 10:30, "And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered". since He knows us so well, He knows that there are certain limitations to our abilities. so He will not give you an obstacle that you can't overcome. obstacles could be in a form of temptations, as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptations has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it".

Knowing this, there is no obstacle that you and i can't handle in our lives. Since that is so, God will provide a way out for you. He will help you to overcome. so, even the thought of taking your own life by committing suicide was really not worth it. should you just give up facing your problem, and abandon your problem? why take your own life and waste it when you could've solved your problem?