I have a friend who is a non-Christian, and he asked me what I meant by “living for God”. I told him I meant living for God’s purpose instead of mine.

I have another friend whose life is not going the way he wants right now. There are many of us who have been kicked out of the national youth squad, and he was one of them. He was among those who feel dejected because of what happened.

Once again, as I have mentioned before, we fail to realize sometimes that the life us Christians are living for is not for us! It is for our creator who gave us this life. He uses us for His purpose. As mentioned in 1 Peter 4:1-2, “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.”

Ever wondered why sometimes you don’t get what you pray for?
It’s because God will only grant you that at the right time according to Him. But sometimes what we pray for may only be for selfish desires. Like for example, praying that God will let you win a competition? What crap! Is that for God’s purpose? NO! It’s only for you to be proud of. It is mentioned in James 4:3, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

From what I read from my book of devotionals, Proverbs 2:7-8, “He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those whose walk in integrity, guarding the paths of injustice, and He preserves the way of His godly ones.” This shows that if we walk in integrity, we will not stumble. God protects His godly ones, and this shows that if we pray for something that we can use to do His purpose, He will grant it to us. He will give us an opportunity to gain, for example, courage and faith. “God is ready to do His part whenever we’re ready to do ours”.

Oh yeah!! And by the way, to those who wants tattoos:
Leviticus 19:28 “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves”.

Haiz... finally, the last day of cognitive AND the last day of semester 2 of year 1.

I'm gonna miss my classmates! :'(

I miss Yang Li Shan! But I don't miss my semester 1's facilitator. Hehe...

I'm waiting for the pictures of the last day of school!! :D

AWWW MANN!!! IT'S THE LAST DAY OF ENTERPRISE!! :(

I MISS SPENCER GOH AND YONG FUI LONG!

Yong Fui Long is cool:)

NOOOOO!!! LAST DAY OF YEAR 1 COMPUTING!!

Bye Loh Hui Ling!

Bye Sheila Chang!

NOOOOO!!! IT'S THE LAST DAY OF YEAR 1 SCIENCE!! :(

I MISS MY SCIENCE FACILITATORS, JUNIE TOK AND LEE HAN MIN!!

Today’s sermon was one of those that caught my attention for the whole period of time. Today, Pastor Steven was talking about us having a consumer’s mentality when going to a church.

He mentioned that when we go shop, we criticize the goods, like whether Mr. Bean’s soy bean drinks are sweeter than that of Jolly Bean’s. Or that Pepsi is better than coke because it’s gassier. And Adidas’s designs are better than Nike’s.

It’s just like when we go to church, sometimes we might criticize it because the pastor is too boring, or the church doesn’t have good facilities, and because the sermon is too long.

His sermon today reminded me of what I read in “The Purpose Driven Life” 2 years ago. There was this chapter titled “A Place to Belong”, and under the heading “Your Choice”, it says “the difference between a church attender and a church member is commitment. Attenders want the benefits of a church without sharing the responsibility. Why is it important to join a local church family? Because it proves you are committed to your spiritual brothers and sisters in reality, not just in theory. God wants you to love REAL people, not IDEAL people. You can spend a lifetime searching for the perfect church, but you will never find it. You are called to love imperfect sinners, just as God does.”

Today’s sermon was also something about conflict… sooo… if anyone’s angry with me out there… I’M SORRYYYY!! :( I might not have realized what I’ve done wrong… but… I’M REALLY SORRY! Just tell me what I did wrong and I’ll change if I don’t have a good reason to what I did wrong.

Romans 5:1-5
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.”

I always remember when I was young, my mom would always tell me to suffer first, and then enjoy. And what do ya know? Romans 5:1-5 proved that mom was right after all! On the contrary, my aunt told me it was better if I enjoy first then suffer. They were referring to me studying hard and enjoying life. But back then, I preferred to suffer first. Somehow I had this feeling that I’d rather rough it out than live an easy life. Now that I think about it, I wonder what made me feel and think that way.

Now that I’m older, I’m glad I didn’t choose to play and live an easy life. Life is never that easy to begin with. Plus, out of all our sufferings, there is always a reward in the end. And the reward lasts for a lifetime. When you choose to suffer, you build perseverance in yourself. You learn self-discipline and self-control. It is a virtue that no amount of money can buy. It’s not like you can pay $10 billion to have them injected in you.

I always try to push myself and avoid slacking, because I always feel like a loser when I slack. I always feel like I’m mentally weak if I give in to the temptation to slack. I always believed that in order to obtain the best, it is best to go the hard way to get it. Because going the long hard way rewards you with something durable, everlasting, and virtuous. Besides, going the long hard way earns you respect. So what’s wrong with suffering???

Oh yeah!! I finally got a chance to talk to Vanessa online! Come back quick! :D

Here are the verses that I came across during my quiet time which teaches us how to behave:

Romans 12:2
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (For the non-Christians, we renew our minds through our faith in Jesus Christ as we follow His example)

Ephesians 5:3-4
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.”

Romans 13:13-14
“Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”

Galatians 5:19-21
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Galatians 5:22-26
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”

1 Peter 1:14-16
“As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’”

Colossians 3:1-10
“… 2set your minds on things above, not on earthly things… 5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices…”

Colossians 3:12
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

HALLOOOOO!! PEOPLE!! AS CHRISTIANS, YOU GOTTA REMEMBER YOU'RE NOT LIVING FOR YOURSELVES BUT FOR GOD!!!

SO STOP THINKING LIKE THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU!! STOP COMPLAINING!! GOSH!! WITH ALL YOUR EMO-ING AND ALL!! - a reminder to myself also :P

I learned today that sometimes we are too busy that we skipped spending time with God. Poor God... so neglected :(

Just like my post in November, titled "Tyranny of the Urgent", we often respond to the urgent and not the important. And what is urgent may not even be important, for example homework over God. Sure, education is important, but we should always try to make time for our Lord. Besides, when we trust in the Lord and let Him take control, we can do amazing things. Duh... It's GOD we're talking about here :)

In an activity book that I have for growing spiritually strong, it says "Left to ourselves, we fail to distinguish God's way from the world's, or we see the difference but give in to the world anyway. We may have an uneasy feeling but rationlise our actions by saying, "After all, who knows what is right these days. Are there really any absolutes?" We may not realise that we are drifting along in the stream of this world's ideas of living, obeying its unseen ruler, and following our own impulses and imaginations much as we did before turned to Christ.

In the book "When God writes Your Life Story", there were 2 types of Christian lives that struck me. There is the just-be-real Christianity and the God-loves-me-anyway Christianity. Let's start with the just-be-real Christianity.

An example in the book is a Bible school student who has decided to "be real" about his lustful addictions. He blurts "I'm hooked on pornography, and that's just the way it is. God knows I'm only human, and I'm not gonna beat myself up about it."

Now for the God-loves-me-anyway Christianity, this attitude shies away from the sting of conviction. An example in the book is a couple, Kelly and Damon, who committed to save sex until marriage. But one day they gave in to temptation, and she cried with remorse after that, knowing that she had let God down. The next night during a sermon, the pastor declared, "He loves us just the way we are in all our sin and weaknesses. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. He knows we are stuck in the mire of our sinfulness." That was when Kelly's guilt floated away, and the couple maintained an ongoing sexual relationship. She convinced herself that God accepts her in spite of her mistakes and that He doesn't expect her to change.

Sure He accepts us in spite of our mistakes, but that DOESN'T mean that He doesn't expect us to change. Though we are born sinners since the time of Adam and Eve, we should try to live a righteous life because in Romans 8:7, "the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so."

Here's something that caught my attention in today's sermon. Wish I had brought my friends to today's sermon... Anyway, Pastor Steven mentioned about the time when he was asked if he could drink wine, when there was already a glass of wine placed right in front of him. After some consideration, he answered 'no'.

Drinking wine is actually not a problem, because Jesus drank wine as well. BUT! The problem with drinking wine that is considered a sin, is when you become drunk. Drinking alcohol is usually to warm the body or for a celebration. A reminder to my friends out there, DON'T YOU DARE BECOME DRUNK! arrgh...

Romans 13:13
"Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy."

Ephesians 5:18
"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit."

*Debauchery: excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures

What's so cool about drinking till you get drunk anyway, huh? You think by drinking you would appear mature? Like, you're all grown up now? You think drinking makes you look cool? Let me tell you... I think that's all crap! Drunkenness is one of the reasons why I would look down on a person. Forgive me Lord, I know it's not for me to judge others...

Wake up people!!! Don't be dumb! You don't have to do this in order to "look cool". It is said in Romans 12:2, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Hmm…. I think it’s time I give up bowling? I’m bound to give up what I love one day. Besides, bowling isn’t gonna last me. And it’s always in the way of me and God. I’m always not able to make time for Him because of it. Besides, I’ve been going from bad to worse. My average usually hits at least a 195 at least. And it wasn’t difficult to hit a 200. But now, I hardly do.

My average went down to 175 last year, and that was a drastic change. To make matters worse, my scores for yesterday was a 124 and 132! Who knows? Maybe I’m not meant to be in the bowling circle anymore. Oh well :)

A video I watched in church today, by Louie Giglio, mentioned a protein in our body:

Laminin is a VERY important protein in the body that "holds us together". It holds our membranes together. It is the glue of the human body. It holds together our skin, our organs, you name it. Laminin is like, the steel structure within the concrete that holds a building together.

Just as laminin suggests, Christ is a VERY important figure in our lives. Christ, as part of God, holds us together, literally.

Ever wondered why you don't hear me yell out vulgarities? Why I refuse to drink? I could if I want. I could rebel if I want. I would love to get into fights. I'm one of the stronger girls anyway. It would feel good to punch someone. I could yell out vulgarities to get rid of my frustrations. I can show my impatience if I wanted to.

But no, I didn't. Although I did used to when I was younger. It didn't matter if that person was hurt. I thought she deserved it anyway, for being irritating. But because of God, that was the furthest I've gone to being too much. God held me together when I was about to blow.

Now that I know God so much better since I returned to church, I was held together in all situations. There is more to life than studies, bowling, and my social life, whatever. Living for God's purpose for me is so much more important.

I just bought a book yesterday, titled "When God Writes Your Life Story". Lemme tell you first, my dream has always been to work with Disney's animation. But slowly, I was starting to settle for an average, realistic life.

However, along the way in my life, there is always someone who asks me about my dream which makes my dream alive again. I thank God for that. God has given me a gift to draw. But I have never been to art class and seriously learn. So my ability is limited for the time being.

In this book, it mentions that when we watch a Hollywood film, and the character ends up in an impossible situation, we trust the movie director to somehow turn it into a happy ending. But "we melt with fear when we find ourselves in an impossible situation in life, because we don't trust God as our life's Director to come through for us and create a triumphant ending."

"As little kids, we dream of a bigger-than-life existence. But eventually we grow up. We lose our 'oomph' to keep aiming high. We settle for everyday mediocrity. We finally accept being average. We loosen our grip on our dreams and pitch our tents in a land where everyday humans dwell."

Finally, it's the end of the year 2008! Thank God and praise the Lord.

I just came home from watch night service in church to countdown to the year 2009. We were all sharing about what we were thankful for in the year 2008. And what am I thankful for?

I'm thankful for this CRAPPY year that has been filled with failures. Because of these failures, I have been consistently filled with encouragements by God. It is all thanks to this year that brought me closer to God.

I guess it is only when I am weak that I could grow closer to God. Because otherwise, I would always think that I can depend on myself.

Not only did I grow closer to God, but as I learned how His words could comfort me, I learned how to comfort others using His words. I have encouraged many people this year, and I aim to share more about God though my experiences.

This year was an extraordinary year for me, though it has been a crappy year. But even its crappiness was extraordinary. I've never had a year worse than this.

I have never bowled this badly in my whole life, and I have never been so tired in my life. Being in Republic Poly and having to train straight after school almost everyday has been draining the energy out of me. I always feel so dead and frustrated. But God's word was what kept me going.

Now going on to 2009, I believe that this year should be a better year for me, unless God has more obstacles for me to face. Whatever is thrown at me, I will face it. I know I have the Lord by my side, and I will be given peace in mind. I know that everything is going to be OK. I will do my best not to push the Lord out of my mind and think that I can lean on my own understanding.

It doesn't mean that I will be complacent though. I will always try my best in everything I do. But the results are not up to me to decide. The results will appear according to how the Lord wants it to be.