"Kicked out of the team"

Finally my worry for the interview is over. It is decided that I am not to be seeded into next year’s team. Basically, I am “kicked out” of the team, and am told to roll off if I want to be back into next year’s training program. But the interview didn’t go badly. They had nothing bad to say about me. I had good attitude, impressive attendance, and great dedication to the game. They could not doubt that for they could see it in me during every training session that I attended.

My parents are always thinking of this so negatively. My father is now pushing me to do well for the roll off, and is nagging at me to check my equipment and make sure they are comfortable and good to go for the roll off. My mom asked if I’m sad, and I answered in a pissed-off manner that I am not. I am sick of them expecting so much out of me in bowling. Why can’t they accept that I fail for once?? Why can’t they accept that I am lousy? No one is perfect anyway. Why must I always be so good? How can I proceed to be better if I don’t face failure in the first place? Why can’t they see this situation in a positive manner? Why can’t they be more encouraging? They’re not the ones who are kicked out! They’re not the ones who are bowling! Jeez… just chill out people!

I just want to relax and chill out, and know that everything will be okay. I just want to be laid back. But every time I try to, my parents will start to push their worries on me and nag the hell out of me! I’m sick of worrying about my grades, money, time, transport, attendance, being on time… I’m sick of rushing! I’m sick of worrying! I’m sick of being perfect! I can’t please everyone ya know?!?!

To me, because of this situation with the national youth, I have grown closer to God as my faith and trust in Him has grown. He spoke to me on Sunday! With my trust in Him and His power through me, I may be able to show the others that I can still qualify to be part of their training program, if that is His plan for me. Just as it is mentioned in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, ‘”my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’