"Humility"

Well, it has been a long time since my last entry. So bear with me for this post, because there are many things that I have learnt over this long period of time of NOT blogging. Haha.
What I have learnt most importantly is that, this Sportswoman of the Year thing isn’t good for me after all, since it affected my spiritual life and mindset in a bad way. I have been constantly pushing myself in bowling and have almost neglected God totally. But thank God for the Holy Spirit, I still search God’s words for answers. There was one day I just flipped through the Bible, and in a second, I was caught by Philippians 2:3-8:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the very nature of God,
Did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
But made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,
Being made in human likeness,
And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled himself and became obedient to death—
Even death on a cross!”
So what if I am the Sportswoman of the Year? I’m no different from the other bowlers. And the other bowlers are better than me in their own ways. Like, better learning attitudes in bowling, better anger and temperament management, a more positive attitude, and better ways at handling failures.
I had been struggling a little bit in bowling after we changed training grounds, and I was so frustrated with the lanes. My coach could see that I was struggling, and kept nagging at me with my mistakes. ARRGH!! This is so like SBF. But I tried to be tolerant because after all, he may have seen some mistakes that I made that pulled down my performance.
After I got better, and started scoring averages of 190 and above again, I still got irritating naggings from the coach and was even compared with another bowler who recently improved and started doing very well! Now this is sooooo like SBF man! ARRGH!! I hate that. That was precisely what made me demoralized and want to give up bowling in the first place.
But, after I came across the verse in Philippians, I realized that I haven’t been humble these days and actually thought that I was something. I have been working hard to achieve my selfish ambitions of maintaining number one! And I didn’t have humility in me, considering others better than myself. I looked only to my own interest, (which was tackling the lanes and getting my game and form back) and totally ignored the rest of my teammates who tried so hard to cheer me up.
Even if I am actually something in people’s eyes, I should instill humility into myself and see others better than me. I am only the Sportswoman of the Year and it’s just for the year 2009-2010, but Jesus is God in the past, present and future. I have had failures and was nothing in people’s eyes, but God is perfect and have never failed and has been feared of by everyone on earth.
Yet, He still came into this world as a mere human being who could feel hungry and thirsty, and could submit to death when He didn’t need to. He took in great amount of pain for His people when His own people were the ones that didn’t believe He was God their Father, and found all ways to send Him to His death.
Galatians 6:3-4 says “If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.”
This verse reminds me of an analogy my mentor once told me. If one day God sets only one commandment for you that is “Thou shall jump so high that thou touches the moon” and you could only jump a meter high. Then one day, someone comes along beside you and tried to jump as well but could only jump half a meter high, you start laughing and mocking him. Isn’t it STUPID??? Both of you are equal failures who are way WAYYY too far from the mark God has set for you.
In the same way, we are not perfect and cannot achieve the best which is perfection. We can only achieve the best that is possible within our human capabilities. That makes us failures in a way that we cannot achieve perfection, and we are comparing ourselves with others who fail? Hence, the best is to have humility and consider others better than ourselves and look not only to your interests but the interests of others. Then you can gain respect from others.
I heard a relevant sermon last Sunday in church, and James 1:2-4 was used: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Pastor Steven said that trials and difficulties are always coming our way to shape and mold us into something better. Hence, we must embrace them.